Not Sure Anymore


Dear Lord,
You remember that one prayer I’m sure:

But please overturn my initial request
For it was utter foolishness at its best
The one about preserving my life
That I prayed while staring Death in the eyes

For I wrongly assumed You’d eventually deliver me
Or restore me at least- to the difficult place I used to be
If it truly is up to me-
To obtain the numerous, drastic changes needed
Let me stop wasting both our time
Cuz I’ve already used up all of my life

This burden is now far more than I can bear
For none was taken from me- only added to my despair
I’ve tasted enough- I get the point I’m sure
And I no longer desire to live anymore, Lord

Please let me fade in a dream
And never know my passing
For I’ve had enough fear
Had enough pain
And there’s not enough good in this world
To ever outweigh

And hope feels like a lie
It falls through every single time
I don’t want to live this way any more
Put me out of my misery, Lord
Please let me die


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