Once There Was


Where now you see my hate,

There actually was once faith.

Where Once  I believed in destiny,

There is now only left excruciating defeat.


I used to see things as a finite period of time-

That they could or would turn with the tides.

But what of when the waves cease to relent?

What of the countless todays of which there are no ends?


I once saw my torment as a puzzle piece

That would be used in some cosmic plan, ultimately.

But too long the days have blended together as the same-

one giant, indiscernible mess of  anger,blood, and pain.


In which moment exactly was it that

I began crawl to this place that I’m at?

A place where faith slipped away and was replaced with  this-

such a deeply twisted, innate sickness


How did I manage to fuck up so profoundly and completely

Did I wander too far from a God who then decided He had too many sheep..?


Once there was Hope within me

But now what more can I say?

For Once all Hope is missing

There’s nothing that can replace.


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