33 Thoughts 



33 things I’ve learned in this past year          (or am still trying to); a reminder to self:

1. Curiosity didn’t kill the cat- idealization did. 

2. Don’t permit nor settle for physical, mental, or spiritual complacency.

3. Rise and move forward with the sun.

4. Meditate, rest, and reflect with the moon.

5. Be love and Let love in.

6. Recognize that pain is a fundamental part of life.

7. Do not depend on others for your happiness or fulfillment.

8. Don’t take energy, give it and what you seek will be drawn to you.

9. Do not fear death, but fear never waking from this sleep.

10. Know that you’re not the only one that feels this way, but you are the only one who can change it.

11. There is no glass.

12. Recognize that no one will meet all of your emotional needs- it’s not what they’re for- neither people nor emotions.

13. A life without magic is the divorce from it. 

14. Pain changes people. Choose wisely your direction.

15. Life doesn’t get easier- just more familiar, and you- stronger.

16. Live your intentions as if they’ve already come to pass.

17. Know that loneliness and company will never be mutually exclusive.

18. Not all spaces are meant to be filled.

19. Light shines brightest in darkness.

20. It will never be the “perfect time.” Go for it today.

21. Your ducks will never stay in a row.

22. Selfish gets less than giving.

23. “Until you learn to be comfortable with being alone, you will never know whether you are choosing someone out of love or loneliness.”

24. You only have to try one last time- but after that, always be sure to try “one last time” again.

25. Don’t be afraid to see the signs. 

26. There are many people and things in this world that will try to put you down- don’t be one of them.

27. Never completely “grow up”- in the societal sense of the word- it’s a trap.

28. Sometimes the largest obstacle in your way is what you “know”.

29. “If you don’t like it, change it; if you can’t change it- change yourself.”

30. Don’t waste time hiding your feelings, no matter how foolish they may seem.

31. “One must imagine Sisyphus happy.”

32. Truth is truth whether we close our eyes or not.

33. You can never truly know the whole story.

Advertisements

Nothing but Sand

 

I observed your straying heart

from across a dim room.

Watching your eyes wander

Wherever they felt compelled to.

 

And you looked in mine

and assured me how this time

You were covered by grace,

While ready to give away

Your quiver of arrows and nobility strong;

But you chose instead

To chase the illusion;

Disintegrating, as the Axe hangs ready

to sever the delusion.

 

No one escapes the price

Of what you did, my friend;

But you’re lucky and you’re right

Justice isn’t always dealt on this end.

Meanwhile you’ll watch your Life’s Light search for in another

What you’ve assured her doesn’t even matter.

 

So run away again to the lies of the Great Prostitute,

Who will spend and use whatever’s left of your youth,

While you grasp in vain to the end

The beautiful sands

But in time, I assure you-

They’ll run straight through your hands.

 

I hope you see,

I hope you find;

Unclench your fists,

So you may uncover your eyes

Just In time to win this trial-

Before the last grain of sand

Falls in the vial.

 

~

 

Gone off like a bullet again

In all of your frustration

But I’ll stay to the end

Before it’s in your head

 

Again and again

It’s already been

A lifetime, two- or maybe a few

But I’ve gotta have a little patience

To see your story through

 

Your Silver Soul

Standing in the sun

Here for a day

Gone for a season.

 

I’m looking at your reflection

Will You always run

Away to the protection

of a solitary mountain?

 

Can’t hold you down

Won’t hold you down

I don’t need a reason now

Cuz I know- I’ve always known

 

Your Silver soul

Shining in the sun

Here for a day

Gone for a season.

 

But I’ll stay

I’ll stay and wait

Even if it’s just for

That one day.

Universe Within

Another day’s passed again-

Slipping through trembling hands.

Can’t move in its grip, 

We are all too young for this.

Regardless fore long,

Each alone we pass on;

Too weak to speak,

Too strong to plead.

Too little, too much-

But never enough.

We’re all too old,

too young for this.

No one belongs,

When there’s a universe within.

Could it be just for a day?

Trapped inside this memory?

Cuz all that ever lasts in the end,

Is our own impermanence…

A fading whisper on the winds old-

Reveals the story written but never once told.

Separate sinew from the bone,

To transcend and finally know:

Too little, too much-

But never enough.

We’re all too old,

Too young for this.

No one belongs,

In this universe within.


“Your thoughts are not mine

And I can’t tell what’s on your mind”-

Oh god I hope it’s true!

That I can’t hear you

any longer, the way I used to!

How did I know.

I don’t want to though-

Oh god I hope I’m wrong!

I pray you’re singing an entirely different song!

The one you want to hear yourself-

Just like everybody else.

You didn’t think me credible when I told you-

So here’s a more easily digestible sort of truth.

But did you hear me when

The truth was screaming

So fiercely in my head?

Did it brush the dust from

The useless words I actually said?

That I’m not as twisted as they sound-

Oh I hope you can’t hear me now.

It’s what you don’t want to know,

So don’t listen too close…

Or who’s fooling who:

While we keep looking straight on through-

Searching for our reflection

Or a vision clear

Of all we’ve grown accustomed to here?

I wonder of all, what

Would be enough for you to see

For you to finally believe me?
Oh god I hope I can’t hear you-

How will we ever know the truth…

Comfortably Numb

I contemplate this empty place I’m at,

I try to turn away but it stares right back.

Will it be the sunset,

The voice in the breeze?

It’s the sound of the Thunders-

the waves that rage to pull me Under.

Can you take a little bit away,

So that I can be at ease

From all this turmoil- this chaos

Which dwells inside of me?

Hungry, thirsting, aching

for any heart that’s beating-

Not run out of blood

Just from keeping up-

Is it a useless endeavor?

To war to hold myself together,

So you could finally see me

not trapped in a whisper of 

something of false security

The emotion of chaos’ noose

Insatiable insanity

Which I’ve tried to break loose

Yet it won’t get out

It’s come back here now 

To seduce me away again from

Being so

Comfortably Numb.
~

It’s shown me for what you are-

A veiled, disillusioned insult to soul.

Lying here held tight against my chest,

You words bore a hole in-

They didn’t even need to be said.

So don’t forget-

I don’t need to believe 

In Foolishness.

It was only blood that sated you-

Taking its root, growing into the proof

That you were never real,

It was a wasted appeal.

A dancing illusion of feeling

You played for my eyes,

While binding and blinding 

To my demise.

I can no longer bear your scorn

The floor is plenty warm enough I know 

I’ll stay sleeping here 

On my own.

13.25 23.9.4.15.23

 

No sleep tonight when the shadows are too loud-

Creeping in from the corners again now.

But there is naught enough to drown out

the most Familiar of sounds.

 

There is no denying that the reasoning is sound-

From the darkness that dwells ever in the background.

When it knows me so well,

having stood and laughed over my personal hell.

 

No peace tonight,

When the Memory is so loud;

Coming from the place

I wish I’d forgotten about.
No, There is no torment quite like  Having no End-

Being precariously suspended by so thin a Thread.

 

Trapped above hell-

out of reach of heaven;

No, there is no resisting

such calculated suggestion.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Free write 

I can see it with eyes closed                  Wherein you may be                         On the winds that blow                     In ashes of memory

I’m such a fool                                     to always forgive                           When I still think of you             Even dead things can live

Come paint my heart grey           And take that piece away                    I don’t care and it’s true                Nor feel for anyone but you

Maybe some are to be loved unconditionally                               And others to watch                       and love unequivocally 

Spilling out of my skin                   The marks you etched in               Can you forgive                              what I never let live

I never forget you                      Despite it’s undue                           Not desperate, unrequited                 I can’t get too close to you

We know life isn’t fair                       In the end                                  Drawing in calling in                    Torn inhibitions

All has its price                                   for an unmade mind                              I can’t keep on feeling                    It’s wasting my time

You may forget                                  But I meant what I said           There’s no reason left                Please get out of my head. 
~The Calling Crow ~