2.14 Close Enough


We live and die in a solitary, empty meaning

I never could get close enough to anyone to change that feeling

Because it’s out of reach and oh so vague

But I can’t find the right words to say

Not when I always lose at least half of my soul 

I can’t be your muse for more than a day or so

It never makes anything feel right or whole

With pieces that never did quite fall into place after all

Never again- not after that last day

That I remember so vividly

When everything started spiraling descending, and irreparably crashing

Burning down into my present pretense built from the ashes

So hold your breath in

And let the countdown begin

When everything becomes nothing again 

but cavernous hearts and empty hands in the end

Because it means nothing

This means nothing

But there was always something Missing, nagging, tormenting me

That I could never seem to find any peace

I could never lie still anyway

But I’m lying all the time in other subtler ways

I’ve lived and died that thousand times in a struggle so futile

So I guess there’s no need really to try to be so careful

I’d give my very bones to fix this for anyone worth holding

But there’s no close enough to warm this kind of cold

I swear I don’t plan it in advance

But I think I’m gonna waste the very last chance

Give you my time

Try not to show it in my eyes

Get your hopes high

Then watch them all crumble and die

Because I don’t know about tomorrow 

But I’m terrified though

I don’t know if I’ll disappear again or just go

Cuz I don’t want to chase love anymore

I just want to find some one place that’s warm

For all there is anyhow- 

Now.

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