7.30 free write

      Some things just are; and when all has been done, they very well may still just be.      

       They say that there’s a solution for most anything, and maybe they’re right; for no one meant that the solution would be one that could repair your emotions regarding a matter- the simple thing that is at the root of the suffering- simply how we feel about the things that just are. Lovely a sentiment it that all things may have some semblance of solution; sometimes the thing that just is, happens to also be the emotion. One of the fundamental steps of acceptance- a huge part of what the human experience is – is first being able to identify what you can’t change, and therefore work towards acceptance. Great, so through acceptance everything has a solution. Except that to me it seems like a fucking cop out. What about at the end of all the processing, positivity, diversion, gratitude, service, and denial- what when acceptance never comes, when peace never again alights upon you through all the years of seeking the ever-elusive acceptance; When all there is left is the giant fucking lie that it can resolve the resulting pain or that one can alternatively find something to well enough distract from what is undesirably branded into nearly every neuron? No, I think at the end of it all, some feelings just are, right or wrong- and in all the time, I’ve not seen myself strong enough to disallow the reaction to powerlessness to destroy me.

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