7.12

How long am I going to keep telling myself that I’ll get to it later, try to write out some of these thoughts that are killing me more quickly than I can find the words to really say, but if I can find the sound, maybe I can leave something for when I’m not around

And it’s when I’ve got no one that I’ll push them all away, when I feel more misunderstood the more that I try to say, you say to explain but soon as I chain two thoughts together seems you come back around with how I could do better

When I’m giving it everything that I’ve got, but all I can hear is all that I’m not, like I’m sorry I can’t change myself too well, swallowed it all back down to just keep kidding myself, that eventually I’ll connect with someone somewhere, but I’m guessing it’s me that’s distant and sometimes I don’t even care

But I know I can and often do too much, they say that maybe that was what my crutch was, just let it all go, yeah so fucking easy though, one more thing slips through my hands and trying to not grow cold but I’m thinking I understand

Why those people will do most anything to feel, because after you let it die some of the wounds still never healed, and I’m giving everything I can but the only thing left is the silence and stagnance, I’ve got to get back some of my passion from the remnants

But I can’t find it, I just wanted to know You could decipher some of it, when it may sound arrogant, and I could be wrong, but I’ve sure felt misunderstood all along.

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