Too Much Time


Every day is the same

There’s nothing I can say

I hate to complain

But nothing fortunate feels the same

When my fractured insides died

And there’s nothing left but the time

Waiting for someone to burn the ashes remaining away
So be careful what you wish for 

When there’s not much left

Depending on the answer

It’s so easy to suggest

Where is the death

That a fool prayed to leave behind

Now all that’s left is

Too much time
I’ve had an attitude that’s bad enough  I know

But really I’m just all used up and alone

Can we start again

I didn’t mean the things I said

You never can get used to it

Waiting for anyone to use the ending
So be careful what you wish for 

When there’s not much left

Once you’ve caught the cancer

It’s so easy to suggest

Where is the death

That you tried to leave behind

Now all that’s left

Is too much time.
How did we get here

Making nothing that’s left clear

How did I end up this way

With no truth that I can bring myself to say

Who will ever know

Who will ever see 

The hardest pill to swallow

-The real story?
So be careful what you wish for

When there’s nothing left

Once you’ve caught the cancer

It’s so easy to suggest

Where is the death

That we prayed to leave behind

Now all that’s left of you and I

Is too much time. 

October 31st


Knocking at the door again

Bitter reminders

 I try not to let in

But the lights they flicker and they spark

By the charge of my heart

In overflow

Right where no one knows

And when I fall there

And no longer care

Tell me

Do you still hear my tears?

And if I call you there

Will you still answer my prayer

Even amidst this violent overflow

Of all I’ve come to know

That I am?

The words just won’t right

My shaking voice tonight

The lights are out again

Blown the power in my head

Writhing and restless

Aching defenseless

Flesh and bone to ground

As the pressure still mounts

You say create

And I will the pain away

You say initiate

I will any fucking change

In its place

But overflows to rage

Screams don’t resonate the right way

But it’s all that comes when I try to say

What it’s like

I wanna know why

I still even try 

show me why, what is it like?

But I’m so damned to focus 

When my heart only knows this

Everything seems fake

Just a different form of give for take

I don’t wanna stick around

Cuz I’ve been around here

Long enough to see

The same old fucking go around

Think I’d know by now

I’m just a little chess piece

A pawn that longs to jump off the board

Try hard as I may to ignore it

I can’t escape the flames

When I feel they know my name

Is it written in stone

As my fate for what I’ve done?

Please redeem

By pardoning

I’m sorry

I’m sorry

Let it be the ending

For a heart hardly worth defending!