I’ve long felt these emotions to a degree that’s far too much, surely though they too will fade to another part that’s numb
Its been some time now that I see what they meant, that I have a decision since I’ve been dying in small increments
And we had just met when shit was really getting ready to begin, when every piece of my world was still suspended overhead, set to shatter into irreconcilable pieces in the end
Maybe though I just get what I deserve, the same fate as most everybody else to walk this earth, nothing better, and some will have it worse
but to even think of what lies ahead makes my stomach revile it’s diminished contents, do you remember where it began back then
How can I feel so changed in the space of just a few hundred days, everything changes they say but did they mean that nothing good stays?
No one can comfort me, there’s nothing they can say or do, because you can’t make it better when I’m wrestling with the truth
Which hurts more than any amount of lies, but eventually we all run out of time, did your heart stop singing, do they all feel so deeply
All that drives one to insanity and distrust, to vanity and lust, to suicide and hiding, and the murder of desiring; must all things die?
I feel too much, but not enough to trust that anyone would ever love me again, it’s hard to explain, my heart’s only in part ever displayed, anything beautiful concealed beneath pain
Just the way in which we all carry our most secret pains, I see their hurt but it increases the burden, for there are no promises nor hope for those who choose to live uprightly so
We all end in the same grave, all of our labor taken in vain, but a vapor in the wind and with no power to change what will be and has been, for only the face of God could hold back fate, but He seems to work in less mysterious ways
Being so, is there no hope in this life that I could know, though I’d love to believe in the songs I hear on the radio, I guess it’s impingent on one’s disposition.
Though it doesn’t seem to be just a decision, I simply don’t possess that kind of vision, and the man was right if God said I wouldn’t get along with the flock, or they’d misjudge my heart, attitude, and thoughts
And cliche and immature it may sound though, I never felt understood by anyone I’ve known, but none of us really are I suppose, maybe that’s why, when we still always feel alone
I’m sure some people in my life- if not more- think I’m dramatic all the time, for what they don’t know- and ask the most asinine questions over and over, which makes me think that maybe they’re not alone over there
On the other side of the glass we’re always speaking through, I wanted to find a way to once not feel alone too, but I never can break through with all these secret battles that tighten like the same noose
Futile but chained to me as irons, I can’t move on, I can’t let go, everyone’s better than me at letting it be, everyday the weight seems to grow
And I don’t know where else to go.