5.21 free write- Reasons

My body is broken and old before it’s time

All my faith has today run dry

I once was a child

But now I’m just alone

And no one knows the reasons I hold
Been so many places

Tried so many times

Remember a thousand faces

All I’ve left behind

I’ve always come and gone

But I don’t know if this one

I can come back from
The impossible’s before me

And my hope is gone

The fire’s at my back

And I’m about to jump

God please catch me

And forgive me what I’ve done

But no one beside me can feel these reasons
Every day it’s a little more weight

And my bones already crumble and break

I cant feel anything but pain

And I don’t believe they understand

I don’t believe you’ve seen what I have
Been so many places

Tried so many times

Remember a thousand faces

All I’ve left behind

I’ve always come and gone

But don’t know if this one 

I will come back from
The impossible’s before me

And my hope is gone

The fire’s at my back

And I’m about to jump

God please catch me

And forgive me what I’ve done

But no one beside me can feel these Reasons.

Too Much Time


Every day is the same

There’s nothing I can say

I hate to complain

But nothing fortunate feels the same

When my fractured insides died

And there’s nothing left but the time

Waiting for someone to burn the ashes remaining away
So be careful what you wish for 

When there’s not much left

Depending on the answer

It’s so easy to suggest

Where is the death

That a fool prayed to leave behind

Now all that’s left is

Too much time
I’ve had an attitude that’s bad enough  I know

But really I’m just all used up and alone

Can we start again

I didn’t mean the things I said

You never can get used to it

Waiting for anyone to use the ending
So be careful what you wish for 

When there’s not much left

Once you’ve caught the cancer

It’s so easy to suggest

Where is the death

That you tried to leave behind

Now all that’s left

Is too much time.
How did we get here

Making nothing that’s left clear

How did I end up this way

With no truth that I can bring myself to say

Who will ever know

Who will ever see 

The hardest pill to swallow

-The real story?
So be careful what you wish for

When there’s nothing left

Once you’ve caught the cancer

It’s so easy to suggest

Where is the death

That we prayed to leave behind

Now all that’s left of you and I

Is too much time. 

Go Save Someone

Saved In Ink

He called himself

Starting to sink

he wrote it down

Said I’ve got my hurts 

But I know it could get worse 

Then He turned 

But was it worth it?
So many questions

With no answers or suggestions

Maybe he was right

Maybe we pray in such trivial light
I never forget what she wrote

God please go listen

to someone for whom there’s hope

I never forget when he said

God Go Save Someone

Someone else instead
Saved In Blood

She named herself

Starting to numb

She pours it out

Said I’ve got my hurts

But know it could be worse

Then she turned

But what was it worth?
The many questions

With no answers or suggestions

Maybe she was right

Maybe we ask too much and little

At the same time
I’ll never forget what she wrote

God please go listen

to someone for whom there’s hope

I never forget when he said

God Go Save Someone

Someone else Instead.

Safe

I’m not trying to be so contrary

I’m just trying to make it home

In not trying to be so difficult and overanalytical

But I think we can agree on that aching empty feeling in the soul

Nothing holds me and that why I chose to be (Alone)
In the shadows, they know me

I am safe in their arms

They will always call me home

Trapped under glass, time it passes

All so the same

But did we ever really play the game

Or did I just play it safe
Hunger, thirst- That can never be answered

A sleepless Hurt

The most silent kind of cancer

And I’m sorry for the way it’s so hard for me to explain

I’d hoped I’d find a way to change the end of the age

Too late
(Backwards vocals)

We just play it safe

Just play it safe

Sometimes Someone

There are postcards hidden all over the place

So you can still see me 

When I go away

There are post-it notes all around the household 

So you can still find me 

When I finally go (away)

Sometimes someone

How I used to love

Sometimes I’m someone 

Who you can still love
So come close

But leave me alone

I never know

What I want to do

Come close but not too far

Once in a while 

I’m Sometimes someone 

Torn scraps of paper stashed in the walls 

Know where to look and you will see my greatest fault

Paper and letters veiled all around

So you can still feel me

When I burn myself down

My Sometimes someone

Who used to love

Sometimes I’m someone 

Who you still think of

So come close

But leave me alone

I never know

What I want from you

Come close but not too much

Once in a while 

I’m Sometimes someone 
There’s writing inside the walls

So you can still hear me

Once I’m gone

Locked and Loaded

It’s been hours and I’m locked 

just lying staring at the clock

the walls begin to close in again

all I want’s for everything to end

It doesn’t take me high anymore

Nothing makes me right anymore

One, two, three, more

Just like you; bored

Mix it all and I’ll not care

Live or die, it doesn’t matter

Feel better, be better

Real’s not always preferred.

Listen better, see better

The feeling sublime, undeferred 
 
I always say this is the last time

But it’s been a whole day and I feel like I’m dying

So I’ll bring back the burn

Just To bury the hurt

I never seem to learn

And I get what I deserve

I’ll be clean I claim at every day’s eve

But soon as I start suffocating 

I will take

I will be

anything

just 

to ease the pain