You know, I would have stayed
Definitely
I wouldn’t have left you alone
Unless you had asked me to go
Even then, I would likely try and pretend
That It didn’t hurt me as much as it did
I know the signals are always mixed
In the midst of difficult circumstances
But when it comes to how much you matter to me
I said what I meant, not just what was convenient
But I’m also imperfect and will never have an apology that’s flawless
For all of the times I’ll surely say something thoughtless
I wish that I could read your mind so that I could make it better
and be what you needed right then
But I can’t if you are unwilling to help me understand
I know not everything I say is easy to hear
And I have many, many faults that I’ll own for sure
But not a word I wrote was ever meant to hurt
I’m always willing to apologize a thousand times, and try my best to change
but can’t if you don’t tell me what I did to cause you pain
I’ll always believe in working out conflicts and misunderstandings
But you just leave again, without saying anything
And I’m left just to wonder a hundred other things
If we are both stones- stubborn and unknown, each again on our own-
You must be a Playa Desert stone
For I’ve never seen one quite so apt to get up and go
Though I know I can be too
So I may get that part of you
Or perhaps I’m just too young to apprehend the truth
I want to understand you, but could you me too?
I may have A Lesser Darkness dwelling within
Like most of us; but mine is less hidden
We all have our light and our dark
but I had hoped that you could see my heart
And know that light always shines through
I said I love you
And that never changes or goes away
Even in the midst of the highs and lows we all face
Just as the ocean always remains
It is calm and steady, but rages in the same
For the rivers and tides ever ebb and flow
but always return to where they were meant to go
I don’t want to dog you too much
But I thought you would be as close and for as long
As I would Indefinitely be able to carry on
Or be somewhere near
All whether it’s never- six months, or a year
I won’t take or place the blame on anyone
I often feel foolish, feeling like the only one
Who in some subtle way is always holding on
I forget a lot of facts, but never can a face
I’m always looking back on those who just won’t stay
So I’m writing again for you
It’s the last thing I can do
I don’t why you affect me like you do
Surely you must know how deeply this hurts me too
Of course I’ll still be here waiting for you
And for impermanence
Because everything worth it is always
Indefinite.