I don’t know what to say, the words have all gone missing, dissipating with their meaning and impulsivity
The life has gone out from the hope I held as defense, I’m far too weary now to keep up with this pretense- that I could ever just be a good friend, because I can’t shake this feeling that this is the end
The enormity of this mosaic weighs upon me at every turn, as the sky you cannot escape from beneath, all that remains is to yearn and to burn, which could not come soon enough for there to be any peace
Of which there can be no such thing, only the worst of two worlds each trapped in-between, there’s no going back, no making amends, everything in it’s making encapsulated in these moments
Every fiber of my being, every part of my soul, wanting only that I could freeze the time before it too runs cold, as is the way of the world- coming of age and dying long before we ever see the ground
We are born of tears and too return just the same, I’ve wasted all these years deluded I could outrun the pain, but there is no other way but to bring all my burden and shame, this is who I am, come what may
I see that some things never really heal, and if they begin again you lose the ability to feel, I am not afraid to live my life alone, it would be more of the same, the world I’ve always known
Because I just don’t care anymore about the ordinary world and all they say there is to explore, or look forward- they are foolish, enviably easily amused, there are no more than two things to desire to
Moving beyond naivety and laughing at the face of whatever’s in the way, I see that nothing stays the same- or do they mean that all good things fade? Moving forward in a new age, so it can steal your strength away, to end up where I started at the Eve’s day- but two steps behind on the inside, always
Can I hasten the culmination of this end, so my heart may finally die- no longer just play pretend?
endurancewarrior.wordpress.com 