I’m feeling seriously uninspired and don’t feel like writing.
But I’m committed to unblocking this throat chakra.
I can barely contain my enthusiasm.
Still going out to the frequency healing center every couple days. The visits thereafter mostly consist of sitting in a cushy armchair for a couple hours at a time, with electrodes on my wrist, or chest, etc. What feels like electricity pulsing though my chest is rather interesting. There’s also a working Tesla coil, which was intriguing to be able to experience the tangible energy pulsating through the air- though I kept losing track of my intention,
I thought it rather peculiar how people come in through there to get their frequencies like it’s their daily cup of coffee. At times, sitting in the little white brick room with no windows for hours can make me rather restless, especially when the lights are also dimmed- though it’s definitely nothing complaint-worthy. I’ve met a handful of people with everything from Lyme to Cancer- mostly claiming that after as much as 40 years of searching for relief, that Mr. Beautiful Human is the only person who has been able to help (or cure) them. So I guess I’ll stick with this kind of voodoo for now.
I can’t help but still think about this particular older couple I spent a couple hours next to. She came in looking very badly- practically carried into the room. When she came around a bit more, they were discussing what to get for dinner- A fairly mundane conversation- yet I was so taken aback by the way that they Interacted, and the way he spoke to her was so remarkably telling that they’d been together a lifetime. His speech was calm and compassionate, most markedly devoid of the subtle exasperation that I typically hear in people’s words towards someone consistently not feeling well- and I’ve been around a lot of sick people. Given, perhaps he’s not always like that- but his wife allayed that suspicion. It was just something that brought up many vivid memories for me. I couldn’t help but interrupt their discussion of steak to shake his hand and tell him,
“You Sir, are the possessor of a dying temperament. Keep it up,” and laugh because I probably looked like a sentimental sap.
He grabbed me by the shoulders, looked me in the eyes and said “Everything’s going to be OK. You’ve got a great mind that someone’s going to love. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise- you’ve got this.”
OK old man, please don’t make me cry anymore. 👌
So the nosey little imp that I can be when it comes to personal stories- I found out that they’d been together for 48 years- since they were 20, and she had been severely ill with Lyme disease for 40 years before coming there. Her immune system and consequent health was further destroyed by the years of intense antibiotic regimes she had been prescribed for the Borrelia spirochetes- a thing I thankfully had refused to do, despite minor opposition. When her husband left the room she echoed many of the things I’ve said myself, regarding suicidality, self-guilt, a lot of broken relationships due to misunderstanding, and feeling like a burden- weighing down the potential life of her tirelessly patient husband.
As far as results from the frequencies, I must say that I did feel better after the very first treatment even. I woke up the next morning pain-free, clear- headed, and full of a fidgety, positive energy. My fever was down a degree, and I didn’t have any nausea. It was amazing to have even a couple days of feeling more normal than I have in a long time.
I couldn’t believe- is this how people actually feel?
Because it was fucking amazing.
I realized then that I seriously had forgotten what it felt like, to just be OK; to be able to be in control my own mind and body, instead of one or the other severely crippling my ability to do even the simplest thing without extensive effort or impairment. I understand now why most people don’t understand me- or think that they do and therein attack me for whatever spiritual/emotional malady I supposedly have that week. For the last couple years I’ve continually asked and examined myself for in the case that I was simply losing discipline, self control, or becoming a generally weak person. I see now that the reality isn’t such, but is that slowly, insidiously; what I’ve been pushing through has really become that much heavier to bear.
Unfortunately, the bad days came back after those few good days- but I’m trying to believe that it’s a process with setbacks and that I’ll continue to regain my health and independence. But at least in those couple days I was finally able to gain some lucid perspective and strengthen my own resolve to fight for myself.